Rady Children's Hospital

It's been the longest day.  I can't even imagine starting this post. I was thinking last night that they need counselors standing by to tell you everything is going to be fine,  and people giving you a massage while you wait for surgery to be over.  No such luck.  I'm sitting with Kate in her room at Rady's.  We arrived at 7:45 this morning and were scheduled for surgery at 9:50.  We got Kate's paperwork done, got her dressed in her pants and shirt,  and then we waited.  She didn't actually go in until 11:30.  Figures.   I have been nervous about her going under,  dumb I know,  but I'm her mom.  I ended up going in with her into the operating room.

The anesthesiologist was very sweet and gave Kate his iPhone with Tangled on it to watch before we went into surgery.  She was still watching it as we walked into the operating room.  As soon as Kate saw the room, the Drs, nurses, and equipment, she panicked.  I don't blame her, very intimidating even for someone like me who has been on the table more than once.  We ended up putting her to "sleep" while she sat on my lap.  They used strawberry smelling gas.  At first Kate was fine, but as soon as she could feel something wasn't quite right she got a little nervous.  The gas makes your body move and jerk a little and also makes you laugh.  I'm sure it was a little scary for her.  I held her and whispered in her ear that it was going to be ok and that this was all normal, that I was there and loved her.  What do you say at a time like that?  Everyone in the room seemed concerned about me.  I almost blurted out that I have worked as an RN so I was fine,  then Kate went limp and that was that.  I helped lift her onto the operating bed,  gave her a hug and a kiss and cried my way back out to the waiting area.

The surgery itself took pretty much the whole 2 hours.  Dr. Wenger met us in a consultation room and told us everything went fine.  He said she did not need a transfusion this time,  but may need one on the next surgery in two weeks.  I can't even go there mentally.  Anyway,  he also told us about the drains in her leg and how the cast was situated, etc.  I am glad I have some experience as a nurse,  I imagine this could really freak some people out.  It's so much harder when it's your own baby,  but I feel a little more prepared than some.

About 20 minutes later we were buzzed to recovery.  Just one of us could go in and it was me.  Ethan is being good and realizing that I NEED to be with her.  She looked,  and still looks,  pale.  She was complaining of pain when I got there and wanted her glasses.  Poor blind kiddo.  They gave her an extra bolus of medicine,  a morphine family drug,  and she slipped off for a few minutes.  She was hugging her stuffed giraffe we brought the entire time. In one of her awake, but groggy moments, she told me she didn't want to have the other leg operated on.  Dang.  She continued to complain of pain off and on.  I think we have a pretty good handle on it now.

We are now up in her room and I can tell she feels a bit better because she is complaining of hunger instead of pain.  We're going slow on crackers and water and hopefully will have something better in a little while.  She says her casted leg is hot,  but the room is freezing.  It's a off and on with blankets and covering one leg and leaving the other.  We were initially told two nights, but we are probably looking at three.

I'm tired and my long night hasn't even started yet.  It helps that Kate is so sweet.  Please and thank you with everything the nurse does for her,  even when she's in pain.  Couldn't ask for a better baby.  Your youngest is always your baby, right?

I have ordered a hospital bed with a trapeze bar for home.  After talking with someone else who's been in this situation,  I decided this would be convenient.  Kate can lift and re-situate herself instead of relying on someone else.  A wheelchair is also coming.  This is if my insurance approves the bed.  Wheelchair has already been approved.

I have been feeling a little Job like lately and have been repeating two scriptures to myself often.  The first one is Job 13:15.  "Though he slay me,  yet will I trust in him."  Keeping faith even though I'm feeling a little picked on.  I wish it were me being picked on,  that would be so much easier.

The second scripture is 2 Nephi 2:25 "..men are,  that they might have joy."  I am maintaining hope that there will be joy somewhere down the road.  I need a big dose.

Thank you for all the wonderful thoughts and prayers.  They have lifted us up and strengthened us all day.  We are truly blessed to have such wonderful friends and families.